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Don't drive here S01
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Episode 8

Drum Roll Please...

Original Airdate: 11 December 2017

  • The Forward and Reverse Slalom: The final regular challenge of the season requires each of the three finalists to drive a 1972 Cadillac Coupe de Ville through a slalom of foam people, both forwards and in reverse, with the other two finalists as their passengers. The challenge must be completed within ten attempts and in no more than 45 seconds, and even Andrew finishes with just a second-and-a-half to spare in his demonstration. Adam volunteers to take the challenge first, hitting foam figures going forwards on his first run, then doing the same while reversing on his second run. His third and fourth runs are far too slow, and he nearly passes his fifth run, but clips the starting archway near the end. After that, he never comes close to passing on any of his remaining runs, always proving too slow and hitting things.

Ashley fares even worse to begin with, veering wildly around the course while reversing, and repeatedly demolishing the starting arch. For her eighth attempt, Jillian suggests letting Ashley take the challenge alone, remembering that this helped her pass this challenge in her own attempt on the show; unfortunately, this does nothing to help, and Ashley does just as poorly on her next two runs. For her final run, Andrew gets in the car and gives Ashley words of encouragement, and while it does end up being her best attempt, she again fails by smashing the starting arch, leaving her completely despondent. Melanie's performance goes similarly to Adam's, not even managing the forwards run on her first two attempts, and then proving clean, but much too slow on her next five attempts. Her eighth attempt is a narrow failure when she clips the arch, and then she completely falls apart on her last two runs, meaning that for the first time in the show's history, not a single driver succeeds at this challenge.

This leads to a "Bonus Round" in which the drivers will each get turns in posting a successful run, and much to Andrew's shock, all three are successful at the first time of asking, with Ashley's run being the fastest.

  • Camaro Challenge: The Mega Challenge: In this challenge, which brings together everything the drivers have learned, they first have to drive the Camaro through an Eye of the Needle and Slalom combo, then drive precision steering sections in both directions (while turning the car around in a concrete barrier section in-between), then carry out a Reverse Flick, followed by a short Eye of the Needle section, and finally an Icy Corner.

Adam is first-up again, and completes everything up until the end of the precision steering flawlessly. However, he then fails all the remaining parts of the course, though his overall performance is still considered quite creditable. Melanie is second, and she gets off to a bad start by hitting two arches in the opening section of the course. She at least manages the precision steering with no hits, then successfully carries out the Reverse Flick despite not really being sure on the correct technique, but ends up failing the Icy Corner.

Ashley is the third and final driver to take the challenge, and her run ends up being the worst of the three; she ends up hitting the same two arches that Melanie did in her run, smashing the Camaro's passenger-side mirror in the process, then does so poorly in the precision steering that she ends up bursting a tire. After that, she's ready to give up on her run and declare herself Canada's Worst Driver, but Andrew forces her to continue, and she narrowly fails the Reverse Flick, only spinning the car 90 degrees after she hits the brakes, after which she fails both the Eye of the Needle and Icy Corner. After this, Andrew says that, while none of the final three have done especially well this episode, Ashley is now looking like the worst.

  • The Road Test: As with all seasons of the show since Canada's Worst Driver 7, the final drive has each of the final three driving Andrew through downtown Hamilton, this year in a Porsche 911. For the first time, there will be two separate drives on the 403; a short one early in the challenge, and then a longer one later on.

Adam is the first to take the final drive, and gets off to a good start, managing everything up until his second highway drive flawlessly. Shortly after that, however, he runs a red light, but this ultimately turns out to be the only ticketable offence he commits during his run, and one of only a few mistakes overall. Near the end of his run, after Adam comments now that he's overcome his fear of driving, he'd like to try riding a ferris wheel to overcome his fear of heights; Andrew recommends that when he leaves rehab, he drive to Niagara Falls and try the wheel there, which he agrees to.

Melanie is intimidated just by the thought of driving the Porsche, and has to take two laps of the starting parking lot just to be able to attempt the final drive. Andrew tries advising her to think positively, but she never does so during the drive, and is visibly stressed and annoyed at all times, and also refuses to carry out a running commentary of what she sees when Andrew asks her to. Despite this, Melanie doesn't commit much more in the way of actual mistakes than Adam did, but her negativity and over-reliance on Andrew's advice makes for a generally miserable experience for them both.

Ashley is the final driver to attempt the challenge, and performs perfectly up until her initial highway drive, only being let down there by occasionally erratic steering. While Ashley spends most of her drive being on-course for a rare perfect run, she ends up committing arguably the most serious mistake of any of the three finalists, by nearly running into a pedestrian while driving through a cross-walk. Even then, she manages to keep her nerve and finish with zero ticketable offences.

In their final meeting with the experts, Ashley openly admits that, had Andrew not been with her, she would more than likely have hit the pedestrian during her drive. Despite this, not only does Ashley not believe she is Canada's Worst Driver, she actually claims that she deserves to be the final graduate. Adam also feels that he deserves to graduate, more justifiably in the eyes of the experts. Melanie, however, admits that she might be Canada's Worst Driver, and that due to being a single mother, she can't realistically afford more driving tuition.

In the ensuing discussions, the panel seems to quickly come to the agreement that Melanie is the worst of the final three, for never making a serious effort to improve throughout the season. However, Philippe then dissents and deems Ashley the worst for her dismal Mega-Challenge performance and nearly causing a serious accident in the road test, and Cam sides with him, pointing out that for as poor as Melanie's attitude in the final drive was, her mistakes were comparatively minor. To Andrew's shock, Shyamala then changes her own mind and agrees that Ashley is worse than Melanie. Tim, however, sticks to his initial decision and judges Melanie to be the worst, which Andrew agrees with. Andrew, therefore, decides to let Shyamala, who is still somewhat on the fence, have the final decision.

At the trophy ceremony, Andrew names Adam as the final graduate, for his solid road test and generally performing well throughout the season, and Adam leaves, declaring that his next stop is the ferris wheel. Once Adam has left, Andrew announces that, in the end, Melanie is Canada's Worst Driver, judging her general lack of effort and bad attitude throughout the season to be a worse sin than Ashley's mistake in her final run, especially considering that Melanie has children who depend on her. While Ashley leaves without graduating, both Andrew and Jillian give her words of encouragement for avoiding Jillian's fate during her own appearance on the show, where she was named the worst after being unable to even attempt the road test, and Ashley is at least able to drive herself away.

Melanie is then presented with the trophy, but does get one bit of good news in that, since the experts do not believe she is such a bad driver that she should give up driving completely (especially given the consequences this will have for her children), they have arranged for her to have driving lessons when she gets home. Despite this, Melanie gives Andrew the finger as Christina drives her away, and then Andrew's closing voice-over reveals that, despite the show paying for extra lessons for Melanie in advance, she never bothered using them.


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