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Episode 8
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Episode 8

The Envelope Please!

Original airdate: December 16, 2013

  • The Reverse Gauntlet: In a challenge which combines elements of the Longest Reversing Challenge Ever and the Slalom, the drivers are tasked with reversing a 1960 Lincoln Premiere down a narrow straight bordered by cars and concrete blocks, then perform a reverse slalom around a set of foam figurines, before driving the car back to the start forward. Each driver has ten attempts, and must complete the course in under a minute. Sly takes six attempts just to get out of the initial straight, and fares no better in the slalom section, going completely off the track twice. During the course of his runs the car's battery dies and has to be replaced, before the engine totally breaks down on his penultimate run. With the engine deemed unfixable in the time available, a Ford F-250 truck is brought in for the remainder of the challenge. Much to the surprise of Andrew and the nominators, Michael fares even worse than Sly did and only gets out of the initial straight section on two occasions, mostly due to his continued refusal to use the technique of looking out of the back window while reversing. Kevin initially fares little better than the other two men, but starts to get the hang of the challenge, and on his seventh run nearly gets it right, but takes too long to finish. On his next attempt he successfully passes with a full 14 seconds to spare. Since Sly had one attempt left he's allowed to take it in the truck... and immediately fails by violently hitting the first vehicle bordering the initial straight.

  • Camaro Challenge: The Mega-Challenge: For what Andrew claims to be the show's most demanding Mega-Challenge yet, the drivers will each begin with a combined Eye of the Needle and Slalom, which ends in an Icy Corner that they have to safely negotiate. The drivers then have to navigate a forward section of wheel rims, then turn the car around in a space enclosed by concrete barriers, before ending the challenge with a reverse-flick. Sly goes first and hits nearly every arch and foam person in the initial section, then fails the Icy Corner. He then hits a lot of wheel rims in the forward section, dents and scrapes the Camaro in the concrete turning space, and knocks over even more wheel rims in the reversing section. After getting wedged on some rims, he gets out to remove them, but accidentally leaves the Camaro in reverse, resulting in it taking off without him and not stopping until it gets wedged on more rims. Finally, Sly attempts the reverse flick far too late and understeers, ensuring a total failure in every aspect of the challenge. Kevin gets off to a great start, and performs both the Eye of the Needle/Slalom combo and the Icy Corner flawlessly, causing Andrew to congratulate him just before he begins the wheel rim section. His congratulations prove premature however, as Kevin starts knocking down the rims, and his mounting stress causes the run to rapidly fall apart, with Kevin again heavily scraping the car while turning it around, knocking down even more wheel rims in reverse, and then getting the reverse flick spectacularly wrong and destroying the left-hand side of the turning area. Michael has the final run, and gets the initial straight right without hitting any arches or foam people, but then fails the Icy Corner. Like Kevin, his mounting stress then causes him to start knocking down the wheel rims; he at least turns the Camaro around without hitting anything, but continues to knock down rims in the reverse section, and then fails the reverse flick when he turns the steering wheel the wrong way, leaving Michael visibly angry with himself.

  • The Road Test: As in the previous two seasons, the final road test takes place in Hamilton, Ontario, with the three finalists taking Andrew on a one-hour drive in a Corvette. Michael is first-up, and his run initially goes well, with Michael driving confidently, following directions and negotiating some confusing intersections. He messes up mid-drive by running two red lights in quick succession (one of which apparently through a confusion of Ontario and British Columbia traffic laws), but otherwise his run goes very smoothly, and he handles the highway drive with no trouble at all. To Andrew's shock, Sly's drive goes even better, and other than excessive shoulder-checking, he doesn't make a single mistake on the drive. However, Sly only half-heartedly promises not to eat or use handheld gadgets while in the car, which causes Andrew to ponder whether he should still be named Canada's Worst Driver Ever. Despite him performing the best in the two prior challenges, Kevin's run proves to be by far the worst of the three; within the opening minutes of the drive, he turns left from the middle lane, then does it again in the middle of a busy street, and to Andrew's shock, he tries to deny having done it. He then commits a serious offence by passing a stopped police car without changing lanes (something Cam notes is usually an instant $490 fine), and as the drive continues, he scrapes the Corvette's bumper while turning around, makes several illegal lane changes, runs a red light and then stops in the middle of an intersection. Andrew twice has to prevent Kevin from turning left from the central lane (which would have caused him to collide with a bus and a car, respectively), and after the second such incident, Kevin pulls over, phones Lenny and seems to concede he's Canada's Worst Driver Ever, and suggests he give up driving. Lenny tells him to finish the drive, but Andrew tells Kevin that should he commit any more ticketable offences, the drive will be stopped immediately. Sure enough, Kevin subsequently turns into an oncoming traffic lane and fails to realize this until Andrew points it out, leading to him stopping just yards short of a collision with a car coming from the other direction; this is the final straw for Andrew, who calls a halt to the drive and takes Kevin back to the starting parking lot himself. Kevin becomes completely despondent, snaps at Andrew, and then breaks down in tears when calling Lenny on the phone again. Andrew notes that with Sly's drive being flawless and Michael also having done relatively well on his, Kevin's status as Canada's Worst Driver Ever is now all but assured.

In his final meeting with the judges, Kevin gives a rather unconvincing answer when asked if he intends to follow through with his promise of quitting driving. This prompts the experts to call in Lenny, who reveals that Kevin told him he would only temporarily give up driving and take lessons to improve his skills. Both the experts and Lenny are disconcerted by Kevin's actions, and Lenny is shown a video of Kevin's final drive to show just how unfit to drive he is. Michael is convinced that he is not the worst, while Sly admits that despite his road test performance, he honestly doesn't believe he is a better driver than Kevin or Michael.

In the final discussion as to who is the worst, Shyamala and Philippe make a shocking suggestion – that despite having been expelled the previous episode, Dale should still be named Canada's Worst Driver Ever, for not even participating in the final challenges and road test, and for her unstable behaviour during both her stints in rehab. Cam still believes that Kevin is worse, however, noting that he had a serious accident between this season and last, and that for all her faults, Dale hasn't had any such serious accidents in recent years. Andrew sides with Cam, leaving Tim with the deciding vote.

As Kevin, Michael and Sly assemble for the trophy presentation, a car pulls up to the rehab centre, and Dale gets out and joins the three men. Andrew begins by announcing that Michael is the final graduate, and returns his driver's licence to him. As Michael drives away with Eric, Andrew's voiceover notes that while he still has a lot of improving to do, Michael is a better driver than in his original appearance on the show, and definitely not Canada's Worst Driver Ever. History then repeats itself, as Sly's strong final drive manages to override his horrible track record in the contest and saves him from being named the worst (as previously happened in Canada's Worst Driver 7). Due to his poor overall performance and the fact that he ultimately showed no improvement over his previous appearance on the show, however, Sly does not graduate, and Andrew asks Fred to drive him home, while recommending that Sly only drive when absolutely necessary from now on. Despite Dale believing she will be named the worst, she avoids this title due to the experts feeling she was a little more aware of the dangers of driving than Kevin, and Cam predicting that her licence will soon be revoked anyway. Kevin, therefore, is named the outright worst this time, and Andrew presents him with the trophy, then lights a road flare and asks Kevin to use it to destroy his licence. Kevin initially refuses to do so, but Lenny forces him to go through with it, and the licence is completely burned away by the flare, after which Lenny drives Kevin away. In an ending voiceover, Andrew reveals that while Kevin hasn't driven since the show was filmed, he has acquired a new car.


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