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Episode 5
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Canada's worst driver EVER
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Don't drive here S01
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Episode 5

They Shoot! They Score!

Original airdate: November 25, 2013

  • The Trough: As in nearly every incarnation of this classic challenge, the objective is to drive a RAV4 through a course made up of sloped concrete blocks, with wide turns again being paramount to success. If a driver gets stuck, they will have to restart the course, though in an attempt to discourage the drivers from being overly hasty, this time they each have a set number of four attempts rather than a half-hour period in which to get through the challenge. Prior to the challenge, Kevin sends a letter to Andrew and the experts, apologizing for his conduct in the previous season (especially referring to the notion of giving up his licence as being "stupid") and vowing to start taking responsibility for his driving, which the experts appreciate. He's given the chance to back up his claims by going first in the challenge, but fails to adjust his mirrors prior to his first run, and consequently falls off quickly. On his second run, he adjusts the mirrors, but does it improperly and fails again. He adjusts his mirrors properly for the third run, but forgets to actually use them and quickly fails again. On his fourth and final run, he manages to get halfway down the track, but falls off and fails. During a discussion with Shyamala prior to his run, Sly reveals that the likely cause for his appalling spatial awareness is a head injury he sustained as a teenager. Despite both Andrew and Fred being nervous during the run (in no small part due to Sly severely damaging the RAV4 he used for the challenge in Canada's Worst Driver 7) and him failing the first two runs due to not adjusting the mirrors, Sly passes the challenge on his third attempt, though admits his success may have been down to luck as much as anything else. Michael, now with Eric by his side once again, is the third driver in a row to fail his first run due to not adjusting the mirrors. He quickly gets the hang of the challenge, though, and passes on his third attempt. Dale has the worst performance on this challenge, never making it more than a third of the way down the course and showing such a lack of awareness of where her wheels are that Danny has to tell her every time she's fallen off. By contrast, Shelby has the best run, as he remembers to adjust his mirrors, immediately realises his mistake when he falls off during his first attempt, and passes with ease on the second go.

  • Car Hockey: In a variation of a challenge previously run in Canada's Worst Driver 5, the drivers each have to push an oversized hockey puck (as opposed to the shopping cart used previously) from a red line down a short track using a Honda Prelude, and shoot the "puck" at a goal while remembering to stop the car before a blue line. Incredibly, not one of the drivers scores a single goal on any of their attempts; Kevin only gets one puck all the way down the track and sends it wide, Dale goes so slow that her pucks never reach the goal, Shelby doesn't get any of his pucks down the track, Michael only gets one to the scoring area and goes too slow to get it to the goal, and Sly only gets two into the scoring area, which prove to be way off-target. Andrew then announces a "sudden death" round and gives the drivers additional instructions on how to score, but Michael, Sly, Shelby and Dale all fail before Kevin finally scores, winning the challenge.

  • The Longest Reversing Challenge Ever: Despite its name, this challenge is actually somewhat shorter than its Canada's Worst Driver 8 forerunner, at 800m instead of 1,000m. However, the objective of having to reverse down a long course (this time in a Trans Am) while hitting as few obstacles as possible still remains. Dale is completely unable to keep the Trans Am in a straight line, and ends up hitting 36 objects, mostly on the passenger side. On his run, Kevin constantly ignores Lenny's advice to look out the back window and spends most of the challenge looking forward, hitting a substantial number of items. Since Kevin's a fan of Trans Ams, Andrew offer to allow him to drive it through the course forward, on the condition that he do it at no more than 40 km/h and stop immediately should he hit anything. However, Kevin drives at 60 km/h, fails to stop after smashing the passenger-side wing mirror, and then drives through the wheel rims that make up the course's opening section, causing him to puncture one of the tires. Despite this, Kevin tries to claim that his performance would have been worthy of a pass were this an actual challenge, causing both Andrew and Lenny to rail at him. Michael uses the Honda Prelude for his run, and has trouble due to his insistence on only using his mirrors. While Andrew tries to advise Michael to look out the car's back window, and Michael does try to do so, he dismisses this idea as being "too unfamiliar" to him and hits many objects, though still ends up posting the best run, hitting 15 objects. For Sly's run in the repaired Trans Am, Fred decides not to accompany him, knowing that Sly will just spend the challenge soliciting Fred's advice if he's present. This leads to a predictably terrible performance in which Sly only looks out the back window once in his entire run (and even then due to Andrew specifically telling him to do so), and veers wildly about the course. While Sly's final total of 37 hits isn't the most of the day, the experts unanimously agree his performance to be the worst in any reversing-related challenge they've ever seen. Shelby initially does well, getting through the first half of the course with only a few hits, but then completely loses control when he gets to a section made from garbage cans, and ultimately ends up hitting 43 objects, the highest total of the day.

After the challenge, Kevin sends another letter to the experts, again apologizing for his actions and vowing to improve. However, this time, the experts don't buy it for a minute, and demand to know Kevin's motives in sending them the two letters. Despite his performance in the episode, Kevin feels that he has learned enough to graduate, but the experts tell him that he has blown the goodwill he earned in the previous two episodes, and that they are now less inclined to graduate him than they ever have been. Dale, Shelby and Sly once again admit that they shouldn't graduate, and while Michael says that he wants to graduate, he doesn't think he really deserves to.

As the drivers assemble for what would be the graduation ceremony, Andrew says that the overall standard of driving in this episode was the worst in the entire history of the show. For the second episode in a row, Michael is the only nominee, but even then, Andrew says that the experts refused to even contemplate graduating him given that he only did especially well in the first challenge, leaving Michael visibly exasperated. For the first time in the show's history, three consecutive episodes pass without a single graduation.


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